to be myself completely

so i suppose i could compose some angst ridden post that usually follows trips to the mall. i have always been this way except this summer basically. i could write something about phonies and how it's all the same whether you're shopping at urban outfitters or hollister; everyone is just trying to fit in. i get tired of everybody criticizing anyone else.
not that i'm not a participator. because i judge with the best of them.
but it just makes me tired sometimes kind of.
how much stock we put in really (arbitrary) things.
and arbitrary
is such a ridiculous word.

but usually all this ever means is that i think entirely too much. people are fine.
i still don't like the mall.


i really have more to say.
i am just so full of feelings lately. it's lame. usually i save those posts for xanga.
mostly i guess
i should just sleep more.

so many choices. sometimes i really start to realize how many opportunities and choices i have at this point in my life right now. it makes me feel like i settle to much and like i want to explore my options a little bit.
rough draft plan:
summer live with ash in orem. work a lot. save a lot.
fall go to london through the byu travel study. this is assuming i get in
winter.....
again i am considering going to byu. which is out of nowhere. i've been pretty set in staying in rexburg but now, i'm reconsidering again.
it makes it all very confusing.
my plan was to always do two years at byu-i and then go to provo.
and i don't know. i love rexburg. but. i don't know
i want to explore.

blah blah blah
feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelings.
goodnight.