something that i have been trying to overcome lately is my unapproachable and alienating ways. however, whenever i have to go to single's ward by myself i try to play them up to the fullest extent.
because if some well meaning but awkward-bringing stranger breaks the one-seat-away rule and actually sits by me, things like this happen.
today was my final day at my home single's ward (or as my sister dubbed it before i left this morning: "weirdy ward" --corny yet catchy). i had to go because i ignored my alarm that would have got me up in time for my parent's ward. karma. don't ignore alarms.
relief society was fine i sat by my friendly next door neighbors who are always so cheerful i can't help but brush my hair out of my face (something that my mother says makes me unapproachable) and have a good attitude all the way through the meeting.
during sunday school i retreated to my regular back corner and started digging in my purse (another unapproachable tactic: "i'm too busy"). but then my friend came in and told me he was teaching class in the other room. the room with the hard chairs. i sacrificed my cushy (terrible word i realize but i can't think of another one) seat to go support him.
i sat in the third row, a safe distance from everyone but close enough that i don't look like a complete recluse. i was quite content until boy sat by me. which was fine but boys tend to sit with their legs far apart and invade personal space. still, i was fine and enjoying the lesson.
until he breathed on me.
throughout the entire freaking class.
out of his nose.
i could feel his breath on my arm so i pulled my sweater over it trying really hard not to get irritated. i scooted to the edge of my chair a little and tried not to listen to the puffs of air incessantly (thank you blogspot spell check) coming from my left. from A NOSE on my left.
until his breath shot so hard out of his nose that it turned the pages of my scriptures.
patience gone.
since i've been away from byu-idaho for 5 months now my awkward situation tolerance has significantly decreased. i was bugged. oh i was real bugged.
so i leaned forward and scooted to the very far edge of my chair. then i heard the clink of his ring on the back of my chair. meaning he was putting his arm around the back of my chair. are you kidding me? i know boys sit like that whether or not they're trying to get sassy but do NOT sit like that next to strangers you are breathing on. out your nose.
i made it through the class without giving him one dirty look.
so really, i am becoming better at being social.
as a cherry-topper another boy in church today touched my shin uninvited (not that i often invite anyone to touch my shin) and said, "you get an 'A'!"
"excuse me?"
"you get an 'A'! you shaved! i have seen way too many 'F's lately."
single's ward,
i will not miss you.
(don't worry mom i'm not always that anti-social. i promise i'll get married one day)
6 comments:
wow. wow. so i was just facestalking you because i miss you and that is when i noticed your blog link. and then this post. i can't even handle it. but i had a blogspot for school which i just decided is my new blog and so i added you.
you shaved for singles ward. i am dying.
two things:
1: I love that you were irritated to the tenth degree, but didn't move. Why didn't you move? Did you not want to make the nose breather feel bad?
2: Why in the HELL was some random guy feeling girl's legs and then GRADING them? Talk about weirdies.
PS- sorry for the strong language, but it was accompanied by a strong emotion.
PPS- I wish you could edit your comments on this thing because I'm pretty sure that it should read girls' legs as it was meant to be plural. I am unsure, however as I am only an English minor.
That leg thing was deliberate-- he must have really wanted a date from you. Too bad you're too unapproachable.
Being home has reminded me that single's wards are generally pretty crummy. Student wards are okay because everyone is going somewhere in life instead of sitting around with other people who aren't good at not being single. I've gone to four different wards in LA and unless you're already integrated it's hard to get there. Maybe I'm just one of those creeps, though, who leans in too close and breathes too heavily.
I'm shocked at the leg thing. You must have touched his elbow.
I'm not at all worried about your getting married. I do, however, laugh uproariously (?) at your blogs. You should write for money. XOXO
This is my favorite story in a long time. Seriously. I would swear, too if Julia didn't already take that thunder! :)
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