where did you get that penchant for destruction in the way you talk

sometimes i'm convinced that everyone i work with thinks me somewhat dull-witted.
but all of the doctors seem to adore starting every exchange in mid-conversation. they start talking to me like we've been chatting for the last few minutes. whether it's relating a story about crashing their model plane into a wedding reception, walking their dog in sugarhouse park, or refilling a prescription. usually i'm in the middle of doing something else, and they never bother to get my attention. they just start talking. only when it's too late for me to make any sense of anything that they're trying to say much less fabricate an intelligent or even coherent response. so, i resort to nods, smiles, and courtesy close-lipped laughs. they look at me all disappointed-like and with pity for the new girl who seems to lack basic conversation skills. sometimes they will repeat what they have said, at which point i try to recover, again acquiring the speech impediment that haunted me my freshman year of college, stumbling over my words and sort of trailing off at the end. i'm sure i'm not maintaing eye contact but gazing somewhere behind their left ear, another endearing habit i picked up at 18. it's all very embarrassing.

and the ladies i work with shake their heads when i whoop and raise my arms when i realize there's a possibility i could get a snow cone that evening.

i feel awkward sometimes.
but dang did i rock that scarf today.
(did it keep getting caught in drawers every time i bent over to file something catching me unawares as i tried to walk away?
yes. yes it did.)