hey i'm alive still.
going to try to journalish more? i used to be better at such things back in my myspace days, but i think i was considerably more witty back then as well. since i've come home from rexburg i feel like i've lost my sense of humor. slowly but surely getting it back.
rexburg was just soooooooooo funny i guess.
anyway, my summer so far... said goodbye to rexburg which actually was really sad. saying goodbye to sarah, brynn, and mack was not a good time and i miss them a lot. i was spoiled with fantastic roommates this year. i hope mack and i get just as lucky at byu.
so, since i've been home i have been job hunting mostly unsuccessfully. i got my hairs cut, a pedicure, had a couple of days to just relax. which was nice but i get a little antzy just sitting around and not having anything to do. so my virginia trip came just in time. i spent the latter half of last week in washington d.c./virginia/pennsylvania/maryland(sort of) with janna, julia, and three of my nephews. it was a magical time. i love the east so much. everything is prettier in virginia. and d.c. is such an amazing city. mt. vernon was my favorite part of the trip.
wa wa wa this is really boring sorry... i'm lacking in wittiness. though i'm not doing it justice, it was a really good trip and i had a good time playing with my sisters.
my aunt lyn got me a job at an incoming-call center where she works, which is where i am right now incidentally. it only lasts for two weeks, so i'm still looking for a job. but i am so freaking glad i have this because if i was just sitting at home looking for jobs i would be going crazy. though i'm not necessarily being productive (the majority of my time is spent talking to my aunt lyn, interneting, reading, listening to music, etc etc. there's usually one call every 10 minutes.) buuuuuuuut at least i'm making money.
making money right across the street from the park city outlets. which might prove dangerous. already bought an outfit at the gap outlet on my way home yesterday. i am learning self-control. i will not even go over there today. or the rest of the week.
moneyyyyyyyyy.
on my drive home yesterday i was thinking about how much i am not a grown up. i think when i was younger i thought that being a grown up came automatically. like one day i would turn whatever given age, and all of a sudden i would have everything figured out. i wouldn't care what other people thought of me, i wouldn't mind not having somewhere to go every night (which is starting to happen actually), i would wear grown up clothes, know how to do my make up, understand grown up things (money?), would know how to get a job, would know what i wanted to do with my life, would understand relationships, etc etc. but julia and i kind of talked about this, the older you get you realize that all the grown ups in your life are just people. they still have insecurities, imperfections, strange attributes, do stupid things, are dramatic, etc etc. people don't just automatically grow up. i don't know. i think i always knew that. i always thought it was dumb when people would talk about how they couldn't wait to get out of high school so they could get away from all the drama. high school isn't drama. people are drama.
this is all probably common sense? but coming on my 21st birthday (almost 4 months away. start thinking of gift ideas now. lists to come i'm sure.), and trying to be a grown up about things i haven't necessarily been grown up about before has made me realize that... i don't know. it's a process. i need to start to do things on my own. my parents aren't going to do everything for me. i have to be a bit more assertive. blah blah blah.
granted, i'm glad i'm not a grown up in most ways.
i still would take eating otter pops in the park over most things any day.
though after telling my aunt a story of me hiding behind a wall during phaser tag she informed me i didn't sound like very much fun. haha
so i guess it's debatable.
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