all things go

a pantoum i wrote.
feedback/criticism is appreciated, welcomed, wanted.

Barelythawed Water

He jots notes down on the back of his hand.
This way he won't forget the town painted
shower-curtain green. It gathers there
in curtained basements, strumming hymns.

This way he won't forget the town painted
sunset crimson, with clouds converged
in curtained basements, strumming hymns.
They refuse to wear rainboots to ruin rugs.

Sunset crimson, with clouds converged
under umbrellas, sitting next to red balloons,
they refuse to wear rainboots to ruin rugs.
Jealousy instructs the rain to avoid it,

under umbrellas, sitting next to red balloons,
shower-curtain green. It gathers there.
Jealousy instructs the rain to avoid it.
He jots notes down on the back of his hand.



and a villanelle:

Fireworks I might refuse to call champagne

Fireworks I might refuse to call champagne
and your uncertain hand on my knee that
makes me dizzy. Spinout, repeat, refrain.

One earphone in provides half the soundtrack
to boys stomping with their feet, stomping all flat
fireworks I might refuse to call champagne.

Grass on my arm scratches out what lacks,
so I itch out the wrongs, the tit for tat
makes me dizzy. Spinout, repeat, refrain.

Whispering pavement lays me on my back
watching those rockets, every spark that spat;
fireworks I might refuse to call champagne

Every bottomward flicker flies then slacks
boasting its dust fading, falling out flat,
makes me dizzy. Spinout, repeat, refrain.

Lull me with sparklers, I'll try to relax
into idle colloquy, a nice chat.
Fireworks I might refuse to call champagne
makes me dizzy. Spinout, repeat, refrain.


i don't know. something to be said for form poetry. i still love free verse with all of my heart, but these ones i had to think about a lot.

sorry for the barrage of poems
it's all the writing i'm doing these days.