i was kind of hoping i wouldn't remember my password for the blog, but turns out google runs everything so...

i'm back! maybe. i'm sure if you click older posts a few times you'll find a post identical to the one i'm about to write. about how i'm never super sure about myself and my identity anymore so i'm going to write again because hey i used to be good at that.

i haven't "written" in ages. mostly because what i used to write was poetry, which i would have no idea where to begin with now. i've also changed a lot since i last wrote. being a mom and all. A MOTHER OF TWO to be exact. but really i haven't changed that much because arcade fire songs still make me cry in the car. but also still pretty different because now a 2 year old chimes in from the back, "mommy sad?" mommy has lots of FEELINGS OKAY.

i usually come back here to write after i read a blog where someone is actually funny, insightful, and a really good writer. they probably use capitalization too. i'm a lazy writer and usually pretty navel-gazey. i have a hard time thinking what i have to say would be that interesting or impressive to anyone else (cue for validation).

but my infj profile tells me that writing is one of my talents. my mom tells me to write. weston tells me to write. who am i to argue?

i don't know what to write about really.

what's on my mind?

what i think about the most: weston, my kids, losing weight, what color my hair should be, what color of nail polish should i buy next, how many chocolate chips have i eaten today, cocoa dusted almonds, chocolate covered almonds, chocolate covered almonds with sea salt, milk chocolate mocha dusted almonds, some item of clothing (today it's a dress), the characters on Parenthood, if i'm annoying my friend i just texted 8 times with no response, will i ever make new mom friends, can i have pizza for dinner, should i grow out my bangs, i'm really way too obsessed with so many things that don't matter, how long do i leave elsie in her room when it's supposed to be naptime but i've just been listening to her sing blues clues to herself for the past hour and a half, she'll fall asleep eventually right?, i need to apologize to the guy at the eye center at walmart, will i always feel like a beached whale in my yoga class, is wanting to be a yoga teacher a pipe dream, is writing a pipe dream, what does pipe dream even mean,

etc. etc.

so you know
just some things to look forward to.