no, this article is not the reason i've decided (for now) to not go to graduate school. i read it after the decision was made. the motivations the author lists do hit a little too close to home though (especially the part about academic validation and structure).
i love english, and i loved studying it. however, along with a lot of other things, reading this post by my soon to be sister-in-law had me seriously questioning what my dreams are and what i really wanted to do with my life.
going to school just because i don't know what else to do doesn't really seem like a dream of mine. being a college professor doesn't either (though some of the most influential people in my life have been my college professors, so it's something to think about). in fact, it was a conversation with one of my former professors/now friend that helped me to finally make the decision to not apply for graduate school. for now. i feel good about this decision but also of course scared out of my mind.
because i DO love the "step-by-step process of advancement toward a goal, with measured outcomes, constant reinforcement and support, and clearly defined hierarchies" of school. i've always defined myself as a student. it's where i've always excelled and where i feel i have some skill. leaving it behind and trying to find something new to do and love is intimidating and horrifying.
however, it's also exciting because i think i'm going to explore options now i wouldn't have otherwise considered.
i don't know what my dreams are, honestly.
now is as good of a time as ever to figure it out though.
if i could do ANYTHING? i would be a professional playlist maker. i will make a playlist for any and all situations in your life.
or maybe i'll blog about mine and weston's ADORABLE and ENVIOUS life as a married couple and i'll sky-rocket to internet fame ala taza-and-husband. better stop dressing like a boy-hobo.
on another note... sufjan steven's concert was absolutely mind-blowing. i really should devote a whole new post to it, but it would probably be pretty redundant (amazing! life-changing! moving! dancing!) i've always vowed to see sufjan before i die, and i think i can say that this was my favorite show i've ever been to. occasionally i think i'm tired of going to shows because i'm losing stamina to stand through three bands, i'm over people trying to out-hip each other, etc. etc. concerts like this though, keep me coming back for more. it was seriously some spiritual healing for me after all of this identity crisis and uncertainty in the past couple of weeks. very powerful, beautiful music. it was a magical night spent with some of my best friends.
sorry, that's a lot of words.
kisskiss.
4 comments:
Okay. Hopefully it's not creepy that I read your blog. (We were in a couple of classes together and I found your blog through some mutual friends.)
Anyway, I feel like this post is exactly what I've been thinking the past month or so as well. For people like us who really thrived in the school environment, I think there's definitely an inherent discomfort in graduating and being done with school (potentially forever). It's been hard for me to let go of dreams of grad school and classes and professors and papers. But at the same time, I don't think I had/have the right motivations for going to grad school. I'm in the process of trying to figure out what it is that I want to do. It kind of scares the heck out of me when I think about it for too long.
Anyway, good luck with figuring things out!
emilymcb.blogspot.com
haha i like the professional play list maker idea. you should go for it and who cares what they say! haha
we should talk soon. i'm glad that sufjan's music helped you through this.
Heyyyyyyy..
So we don't know each other but I really loved this post and HAD to tell you.
PS. Playlist maker sounds like the best career ever--- And amen to being over people trying to out-hip each other. Yay! for rejuvenation created by Sufjan's show.
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