"HARRY: What's wrong, miss?
BELLA: Everything! My life is horrible.
HARRY: Are you crying because your parents were killed trying to save you?
BELLA: No. But my parents got divorced and now my dad can't make dinner for himself. So it's kind of the same thing.
HARRY: Are you upset because every father figure you've had was murdered?
BELLA: No. But this one time I fell down playing volleyball. So I know what that feels like.
HARRY: Did you spend your childhood unloved, living in a closet?
BELLA: No. My parents love me, and everyone I ever met adores me.
HARRY: Are you sad because you have the weight of the world on your shoulders and if you mess up even a little bit, millions of people will die?
BELLA: No. I'm sad because I married the man of my dreams, a modern day Prince Charming who is wealthy, strong, and gorgeous.
HARRY: Um…
BELLA: But wait. It gets worse. I also have strong feelings for this other guy.
HARRY: Relationships are tough. I liked this one girl who already had a boyfriend, and then I witnessed her boyfriend's murder. It made things awkward.
BELLA: You don't understand.
HARRY: Guess not. But here's something I do understand. Stupefy!"

-Dan Bergstein
via