but what would we be without wishful thinking

"What they don’t understand about birthdays and what they never tell you is that when you’re eleven, you’re also ten, and nine, and eight, and seven, and six, and five, and four, and three, and two, and one. And when you wake up on your eleventh birthday you expect to feel eleven, but you don’t. You open your eyes and everything’s just like yesterday, only it’s today. And you don’t feel eleven at all. You feel like you’re still ten. And you are—underneath the year that makes you eleven.

Like some days you might say something stupid, and that’s the part of you that’s still ten. Or maybe some days you might need to sit on your mama’s lap because you’re scared, and that’s the part of you that’s five. And maybe one day when you’re all grown up maybe you will need to cry like if you’re three, and that’s okay....
Because the way you grow old is kind of like an onion or like the rings inside a tree trunk or like my little wooden dolls that fit one inside the other, each year inside the next one. That’s how being eleven years old is."
-"Eleven" by Sandra Cisneros 

...or how being 22 is.

things i should but don't:
eat grown up food run sleep not spend my time reading letters to crushes take out my earphones every once in awhile make my bed wear not boy shirts accept offers for free smoothies never get on the internet again until graduation save money take off my nail polish work on being a more pleasant person stop harassing mackenzie and holli they're nice girls that have agreed to live with me learn to cook write write write fill up my tires with air turn off my cell phone get a haircut make goals

blah blah blah