drop that phone park that car sleep on the floor

it is such a relief when things that seem like such a big deal and feel like they're never going to right themselves come into perspective.

i feel like i have a lot to write, but i'm sort of tired. tonight i said bye to andrew, friend of five years. he is going to mexico city for his mission. it was sad to leave hooper and know i won't have any hooper drives or visits for a long time. andrew conversations in the movie room. i don't know. stuff. just one more constant that is changing. i'm so excited for him, he has been very antzy to go on his mission for quite some time now. andrew is just a friend that i've known for awhile and been fairly close to, that he is such a relief to talk to for me. because i never feel like i have to explain or justify anything. he just gets it. i was talking about this with amanda last night. i like hanging out with people, like amanda, or andrew, or ashley because they've known me for so long they get why i react the way i do or why stuff is funny, etc etc. it's different. at this age, you don't really get too many friends that have known you more than 2 years. in a lot of ways, that is really nice. but it is also really nice to have friends that know how lame you were in the 9th grade too when you emoted all over the place.

but i got to talk to ashley a lot when we were driving home from hooper listening to transatlanticism (it's tradition). i am glad that i have ashley bright in my life, that's all. it is nice when there are people who make you feel disposable or replaceable to have people that are those constants. especially when those people are ashley bright, whose difference of perspective and personality seriously contributes to a great deal of the reason i'm able to function.

yeesh, you know i used to have a sense of humor. it's coming back. i've been into corny posts lately. which is embarrassing.

the job is good. the other day i about had an anxiety attack. but i guess if i'm going to do that, it's a convenient place to do it. 14 psychiatrists and psychologists right there. i don't know. i've never had a real live job like this where i actually have to work for 8 hours straight. there is still so much to learn and i try so hard to stay out of the other receptionists way while still trying to be helpful and do stuff. i'm catching on, sometimes i wish i could take a smoke break every half hour with the rest of them, but yeah. i'm very glad for their patience. days go by fast.

wawawa


i'll figure this summer out. i think it'll be different though.